Summary

During your 20s, focus on building identity capital, forming a network of weak ties, and forming a strong life narrative what gives everything you do a why. Don’t be afraid to get into a serious relationship but stress-test it before moving in together and taking on the cohabitation / lock-in effect. Have goals and think about your future self.

Key Takeaways

• Focus on developing identity capital during your 20s as investment in yourself
• Choose jobs with the highest identity capital (unique, relevant experience)
• Thoughtfully construct your urban tribe (strong ties) vs weak ties (new views, network value)

Notes

Work

• Identity capital: things you do enough that they become a part of your identity, investment in yourself
• Choose jobs with the highest identity capital (unique, relevant experience)
• Urban tribe (strong ties, but same-minded) vs weak ties (new views, network value)
• Unthought known: Things we’ve forgotten about ourselves, aspirations
• Social media leads to unfair comparisons. Compare to your yesterday self instead
• Have a strong life narrative. Give everything a why

Love

• Cohabitation effect: living with partner before marriage has no gauge on long-term happiness, divorce rates
• Lock-in effect: Hesitation due to high switching cost. Eg. breaking up, moving out
• After a year: ask the important questions (see book)

The brain and the body

• Have children earlier
• Think about your future self
• Figure out what you want in your 30s, 40s etc. and plan backwards to set goals