Summary

Key Quotes

You may have simply created something that was needed at the time

Community is a group of individuals who feel mutual concern for one another's welfare — distinct from a tribe, which shares interests but lacks that concern. Building one requires seven principles: boundaries (to make insiders feel safe), initiation (marking the crossing), rituals (things with meaning), temples (designated sacred spaces), stories (origin and values narratives), symbols (representing shared ideas), and inner rings (aspirational layers of belonging). Communities are either enriching (members grow through connection) or extractive (demanding attention, labor, money). The trap of the inner ring — always a more exclusive crew — can be channeled constructively through explicit values, trained gatekeepers, and the understanding that what you built may simply have been needed at the time.

Key Takeaways

Notes

Introduction

• Trap of the inner ring: always a more exclusive crew
• 4 outcomes of communities:
  • Help members grow
  • Cause members to feel more connected, proud, welcome, excited
  • Work together towards making a difference
  • Make membership more fun
• Loneliness epidemic
• Relationships = satisfaction
• Phone use problem

1: Recognizing community

1: Understanding community

• Community: a group of individuals who feel a mutual concern for one another’s welfare
• Tribe: share ideas, interests, proximity, etc. but lack concern for one another
• Explicit vs implicit values
• Membership identity:
  • Values: who am I
  • Rituals: how should I act
  • Core beliefs: what do I believe
• Interrogate membership edge cases to refine identity
• 2 types of community:
  • Enriching: grow thru connection
  • Extractive: attention, labor, money intensive
• Consider code of conduct (morals)

2: 7 principles for belonging

2: The boundary principle

• Boundary between members and outsiders
• More to make insiders feel safe (shared values)
• Must have 1+ values, be exclusionary in some way
• Explicit, implicit values must be verbalized
• Trained, enthusiastic gatekeepers

3: The initiation principle

• The activities that mark a new member
• Completed journey over boundary into the inner ring
• The best come with symbols or tokens
• Even as simple as a conversation like “you’re in my inner circle”
• Giving people invitations is basically an initiation

4: The rituals principle

• The things we do that have meaning
• Ritual ↔ habit ↔ tradition
• Can honor transition
• People place immense power in rituals

5: The temple principle

• A place to set aside to find our community
• Simply need to designate as sacred
• Markings, boundaries, invitations, clothing, lighting, sound, height

6: The stories principle

• What we share that allows others and ourselves to know our values
• Origin stories
• Values stories: how values are expressed, how they effect real people

7: The symbols principle

• The things that represent ideas that are important to us
• Shouldn’t be too literal
• Token: symbol as a keepsake
• To give a token:
  • Intent: reason why
  • Symbolism: what it represents
  • Future: what it should do for you

8: The inner rings principle

• A path to growth as we participate
• Example:
  • Novice: concerned with self
  • Member: “” peer group, seeks success and respect for peer group
  • Elder: tribe
  • Principal elder: whole world
• Example 2:
  • Information seekers: seeking knowledge about the series
  • Guests / novices: self to have good experience
  • Volunteers: concerned guests have a good experience, learn skills
  • Leaders: volunteers and guests
  • Leader coordinators: leaders, their teams, and guests
  • Hosts: all, enriches broader community
• Journey into maturation
• Create opportunities to mentor, be a mentor
• Strict egalitarianism becomes a problem
• Maslow’s hierarchy, belonging hypothesis
• Belonging = frequent interactions + persistent caring

3: Advanced ideas

9: Distinguishing religion and avoiding cult

• 4 features of religion:
  • Origin myth of the universe: informs moral rightness, meaning of our lives
  • A particular cosmology: the natural order of the universe
  • Agreed source of moral truth
  • A particular epistemology: a way to identify truth, how we know
• Common characteristics of cults:
  • Absolute moral authority in leader alone
  • Members must show unquestioning commitment to leader
  • Isolation from the outside is encouraged
  • Exit barriers are high
  • World view is polarized (us vs them)
  • Ultimate moral position rests with group
  • Obsession with growing group is essential
• Ostrum’s 8 features of a sustainable community: (less focused on belonging)
  • Clear group identity with understood boundaries and purpose
  • Costs + benefits are proportional
  • Decisions are made together
  • Free riders are monitored
  • Graduated sanctions for those who disrespect community rules
  • Conflict resolution mechanisms in place
  • People must be able to organize for their own reasons
  • Must be coordination for larger groups

10: Different kinds of success

• 1. relative success (competitive)
• 2. personal maximization
  • Cooperation as long as it benefits me (still fundamentally selfish)
• 3. community maximization
  • Can come at the cost of personal success
• ↑ guess: CMs are more likely to succeed in hard times due to support from authentic relationships
• Can put their own ego and desires aside

11: Gathering wisdom

• Invitation: where invitee knows that someone cares if they show up
• People like people who bring others together
• Campfire experiences: intimacy
  • Proximity: limited # people
  • Permission: to talk about whatever
  • Conditions: no distractions
• Really, the smaller the better (6 or less)
• Fixing polarization:
  • Focus on core shared values + purpose
  • Host must actively lead
  • Invest in trust building
• You must lead with vulnerability

12: Addressing online community

• Strengths:
  • Overcome geography, time limitations
  • Anonymity: protect offline identity
  • Scale
  • Experiences
  • Accessible, comfortable
• Friendship = time, emotional intensity, intimacy, reciprocity
• How to:
  • Boundary: eg. paywall, share name + contact info, required questions
  • Initiation: welcome routine, nudge to build relationships asap
    • Include badge for cohort
  • Symbols: eg. custom emoji
  • Surface stories in the community
• Community needs safety to allow vulnerability (set behavior standards)

Epilogue

• Ending a community
  • “You may have simply created something that was needed at the time”
• Belonging = mutual concern
• ↑ practice telling people that you matter to them