Summary

Key Quotes

There are so many great people here! Mind if I make my way around?

Networking is about generosity, not scorekeeping. Build your network before you need it by proactively connecting people, providing value, and exercising audacity—the worst case is always just "no." Relationships deepen through vulnerability, shared passions, and consistent pinging. Trust follows the GVAC formula: generosity, vulnerability, accountability, candor. Turn connections into friends through regular face-to-face contact, become a connector across circles, and build a personal brand rooted in a unique niche and genuine content.

Key Takeaways

• Be bold, proactive in giving, asking for favors
  • Provide value: appeal emotionally, offer help, seek commonality
• Relating:
  • Build trust: GVAC
  • Be vulnerable, unique, share passions / hobbies, use stories
  • Show gratitude, elbow touches
  • Adjust Johari window as necessary
• Pinging:
  • Follow up swiftly, set a schedule to ping
  • Know connectors in other circles
• Networking:
  • Never eat alone: arrange monthly dinners
  • “There are so many great people here! Mind if I make my way around?”
  • Social arbitrage: go out of your way to connect
• Personal branding:
  • Develop a personal brand message
  • Be unique, yourself
  • Develop a niche
• Life: meaning, passion, relationships, giving

Notes

1: The mindset

• Don’t keep score
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for favors
  • Give favors proactively: connect
  • Exercising equity builds equity
  • Company → personal brand
• Personal board of advisors
• Build credibility, network before you need it
• Audacity networking: worst case = no
  • State situation, convey feelings, end with an open-ended question
• Provide value: appeal emotionally, offer help, seek commonality, ping with content

2: The skillset

• Do your homework: personality, hobbies etc
  • Don’t shy away from showing interest
• Take names: research and make lists
• Warming the cold call
  • Convey credibility: name drop
  • State your value proposition
  • Impart urgency and convenience
  • Aim high with a big ask, but present a compromise that secures a followup
• Be friendly with EAs: thanks, gifts
• Never eat alone: multi-person dinners
• Share your passions: be vulnerable
  • Invite to activity / hobby
• Follow up swiftly, include personal hook
  • Set a reminder for a month later
• Conference commando: reach out to conference organizers offering help
  • Know your targets, notes for followups
• Connectors: restauranteurs, headhunters, lobbyists, fundraisers, PR, politicians, journalists, bloggers
• Know connectors in other circles
• Small talk:
  • Be vulnerable, unique, yourself
  • Show gratitude
  • Relax, smile, 70% eye contact
  • Learn to touch: elbow
  • Johari window: adjust as necessary
• “There are so many great people here! Mind if I make my way around?”
• “You’re wonderful! Tell me more”

3: Turning connections into compatriots

• Know: what do you / they really want?
  • Love, happiness, success
• Maximize the value of your giving
  • Best: health, wealth, and children
• Social arbitrage: be a proactive connector
• Pinging: quick, casual greeting
  • 1: Relationship: 1x / month
  • 2: Secondary relationship: 2-3x / year
  • 3: Contact: no routine
  • Friend: 2 face-to-face meetings
  • Focus on relevancy, intimacy
    • Catch up on their blog, content
• Anchor tenant: cornerstone to a dinner party invite list, outside of social circle
• Dinner party: 6-8 guests
  • Invite people to come for after dessert

4: Connecting in the digital age

• Social media: tap the fringe (150 → 1k+)
• Trust = GVAC: generosity + vulnerability + accountability + candor
• Becoming the king of content:
  • Build trust ↑
  • Join convos → start convos
  • Grab attention: title: utility, curiosity
  • Develop your schtick
  • Share everything: your process
• Create space for serendipity:
  • Show passion, optimism, novelty
  • Surround yourself with the right people

5: Trading up and giving back

• Be interesting: have a unique brand
  • Feed reporters
  • Build identity capital
  • Develop a niche
• Build your brand:
  • Develop a personal branding message
  • Personal content marketing
• Broadcast your brand:
  • Leverage the media landscape
  • Master the sound bite
• Get close to power: power by association
  • Trust: deal as people, not stars
  • Importance of politics
  • Sports / golf: join a club
• Build communities of shared interests
• Never get arrogant, practice humility
  • Get others involved, bring with you
• Find mentors, find mentees, repeat
  • To those in authority: speak less, be humble
  • Mentor > salary, prestige
• Connecting is a way of seeing the world
  • Turn bunnies connections → friends
  • Work with people you like
• Life: meaning, passion, relationships, giving