Summary

Between stimulus and response is perception – our freedom to choose. Changing our perception leads to changing ourselves which leads to changing our situation and achieving our goals. To master oneself, be proactive, set values and pursue them, and prioritize. To master collaboration, think win/win, fully understand others first, and synergize. Finally, seek to continuously grow holistically by sharpening the saw.

“Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose”
- Viktor Frankl

Key Takeaways

• Production vs production capacity (P vs PC)
• Circle of concern vs circle of influence
• Re-script: Periodically evaluate habits and beliefs
• Measure tasks by urgency, and importance. “nU + I” most underutilized
• Fully understand others before objecting (synergize)

Notes

• Inside out approach to fixing others

1: Proactivity

• Production vs production capacity (P vs PC)
• Balance results with improvement
• “Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose”
• Proactive vs reactive thinking, speaking
• Circle of concern vs circle of influence
• Focus on what you can control
• Grow influence, don’t look at circle of concern

2: Personal leadership

• Do everything with purpose, vision
• Personal mission statement:
  • List of fundamental values, goals
  • Memorize. Use to frame everything
• Leadership vs. management
  • Climbing ladder vs checking direction
• Re-scripting oneself
  • Periodically check habits, beliefs
• Understand your center
  • Work, leisure, friend/enemy, material, self
• Commit your values through visualization
  • Vividly walk through critical moments

3: Personal management

• Organize and execute around priorities
• Measure tasks by urgency and importance
  • Important + urgent: “Crisis”
  • Important + not U: proactive, shrinks ↑
  • not I + urgent: Phone calls, emails
  • not I + not U: Time wasters
• Quadrant 2 (I + nU) most underutilized
• Roles + goals: Weekly goals for each role
• Embrace spontaneity: people are unpredictable
• Methods vs results management
  • Delegate tasks, but leave method open

4: Think win/win

• Win-win or no deal
• No expectations > resentment
• Builds long-lasting trust, loyalty
• Compromise: maintain relationships
• Scarcity mentality → abundance mentality
• Someone’s win != your loss

5: Understand first

• Four autobiographical responses:
  • Evaluate: agree / disagree
  • Probe: ask from our frame of reference
  • Advise: council based on experience
  • Interpret: figure people out
• Diagnose before prescribing
  • Fully understand, then give input
• Empathic listening
  • Regurgitate → rephrase → reflect
  • Go back to start if convo intensifies
• Ethos → pathos → logos

6: Synergize

• Synergy: whole > sum of its parts
• Value differences in opinion / viewpoint
• Disagree → good → understand why

7: Renewal

• Sharpen the saw
• 4 dimensions of renewal:
  • Physical: exercise, nutrition, stress
  • Spiritual: values, study, meditation
  • Mental: reading, writing, planning
  • Social/emotional: service, empathy